My dad’s key ring was loaded with keys. As the director of a Christian youth camp, he carried keys to ten cabins, the kitchen and dining hall, staff houses, vehicles and garages, a boat house, snack shop, bookstore, offices…. His multitude of keys hung on a retractable chain clipped onto his belt, creating a soft metallic jangle when he walked. To my young mind, those keys represented my dad’s importance. No one else carried that many keys around (except for the man in charge of facilities maintenance but apparently, I never noticed his key ring.)
I’ve been contemplating the value we place on ourselves and what gives us a sense of worth. Dad’s keys symbolized an external importance based on his job, much a like CEO’s corner office. But self-worth needs internal validation. It can come from reaching a personal goal such as finishing a race, losing weight, or becoming proficient at a new skill or hobby. It can also come from one’s faith.
Usually, our sense of value comes from a combination of both external and internal sources. But when that feeling of importance is missing, we question our worth, our purpose in being here on this earth. As a stay-at-home mother of young children, I knew I was important to the care of my children but my internal convictions about raising and training the next generation sometimes suffered under the lack of external validation. Writers struggle with this conflict too, spending weeks, months, even years laboring in solitude over a story or article only to have it rejected for publication. It’s easy to feel that all the effort we put into the writing was worthless and give in to the mistaken belief that we have nothing worthwhile to offer.
Several years ago, my son tutored high school students in an upscale community where the pressure to get into an Ivy League school was intense. He wrote up a benediction that he spoke over the students after every tutoring session to encourage them. It went like this:
“Your SAT scores, GPA, and grades in general do not determine your worth and dignity as a human being. There is more to life than school. You have something beautiful and wonderful to give to the world–whether with your intellect or otherwise–and I exhort you to give that good gift to the world.”
When he left, the students had him write it on a whiteboard that they posted on the wall. It was a constant reminder that their worth was not limited to their current situation.
We all need such a reminder now and then. The next time you’re feeling less than worthwhile, substitute your current situation for “SAT scores, GPA, and grades in general.” Then repeat this out loud as often as needed. Or give yourself a pep talk like Jessica. And if that doesn’t work, go find a bunch of keys.
What makes you feel important? Is it your job? Your spouse or partner? Your children or grandchildren? Your faith? Leave a comment and let me know what you think?
(Excerpted from my April newsletter. The May issue comes out next week. If you like this and want to see more, including book progress, reviews and recommendations, and other items, subscribe to my monthly newsletter in the box provided below or to the right.)
