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The Problem of Best Friends

Home » Friendship » The Problem of Best Friends
April 14, 2015 by Mary Hamilton

Moving to a new place always results in that awkward in-between stage where you know a few people, but none of them well friendshipenough to call and say let’s hang out together.

Have you been there?

A couple months after going away to college, when the newness had worn off, I vividly remember wishing I had a friend nearby who knew my history, where I’d come from. Someone I didn’t have to explain myself to. I felt the same way when I finished college and moved across the country to start a job. And again when a job transfer took us to a different state. And again…and again…

I’ll get through this fine, like I have before, but it makes me think about friendship. Especially best friends. For girls, having a best friend is all-important when we’re young. (How true that is for boys, I don’t know. Any guys care to comment?) Our best friend may change from year to year, sometimes month to month or even week to week. But having that one person who affirms us, one person who thinks we’re the best can make all the difference in our self-confidence.

I’m so thankful for the best friends I’ve had along the way to adulthood. The one who shared secrets in grade school. The one who talked boys and watched Elvis Presley movies with me in my teen years. The one I turned to when my dad passed away, knowing she’d understand because she’d experienced the same thing years earlier. The one who shared my love for the old MASH television show, who knew when I needed to decompress with a junk meal at Long John Silver’s.

Thirty-three years ago this month, I married my last (and current) best friend. I wouldn’t trade him for anything, but there are times I wonder what happened to those days of having a best girl friend. Have marriage and family taken priority over those relationships? Have I not made time to share life with another woman? Have I not been willing to invest in a best friendship, or is life just too busy to spend hours chatting and laughing and yes, even crying together, like we did when we were young?

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a best friend (not including your spouse)? If so, tell us what brought you-and keeps you-together. If not, what do you think keeps us from finding best friends when we grow up? I welcome any other thoughts on best friends and friendship.

 

Category: FriendshipTag: adulthood, best friends, Elvis Presley, friendship, girls, marriage, MASH
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